The Hour Glass.

BerryB's current look.

You live and you learn.

Have you ever wanted something so badly in life?

Only to realise that the most painful part is to let it slip away, slowly?

Along with it, a light called hope fades away too.

When will we learn that we should never put in too much hope in something that we know isn't ours?

Life is painful and unfair, but it is through pain, we learn and grow.

I was sad, again. So i did what i do best, pamper myself and voila! a smile on my face. I went and got my hair done again and somehow i have a new colour now and my hair is 'relaxed' -.- waste money. But i realised something, that happiness didn't last long. I guess it's true. The source of joy is from God alone and please do hear my prayer Jesus, help me pull through.

hi world. i'm back to square 1, it is like i barely left. word.

"i guess second best is all i'd know"

Love Letters.

Boy meets Girl.

Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess,

because the queen protects the king like in a game of chess.

One day we'll look back on this,

laugh nervously,

and change the subject. 

Goodnight.

"forgive sounds good, forget, i'm not sure if i could"

There She Goes.

Mmm, the brother and I.

When I am sad, I am impulsive with many things and I tend to spend a sum of money to feel alright again. What do you do when you're sad huh?

And so I went and got my hair done instead of my nails since they still look so pretty. In a nutshell, I look decent now 0_o I am not used to it, wth. Lol. I realized that in a saloon, I love to reason out with myself and I end up spending more money than I should. Sole purpose was to dye my hair black but I ended up colouring + treatment + cut = more $. Fail.com, serious. BUTTT, I am happy and that's all that matters :)

BerryB failed on me today. It is being bitchy. I can't BBM people, ish. Can't wait to BBM the lover.

I could sleep all day and still wake up tired.

Because everytime I close my eyes, they're still looking for something.

But it's not there.

You say I'm a pessimist,  it might be true.

That however does not mean you're right, nor me wrong.

It just showcases how hard is it to know someone.

The closest we can get is still a lifetime away from understanding.

Before I go to bed, I looked from the corner of my closed eyes.

Trying to get a still image of you.

...then I saw you, feels like you were right there beside me.

And that's when I felt safe.

You're good, but I am better.

"it was so long ago but t's all coming back to me now"

One Too Many.

Hips says BOOOO! :)

There are things I think I want to or should know but deep down inside, I don't think I really want to know. Somehow, I still end up knowing -.- Albeit knowing the truth, every wound still feels as raw as ever and each encounter with the pain feels different.

I remember telling people, "I am a good thinker" cause I can really think. I am capable of coming up with all sorts of analytical excuses or reasons to why things happen that way/what caused it to happen/blablabla. Most of the time, I am right. Ironically, I would like to be proven wrong sometimes.

Procastinating and postponing. I tend to procrastinate on things hence end up postponing things as well. It is doing me no good. This year is supposed to be a year of Favour and favour does not come easily and as and when I want it. Trust me, at the rate I am going, I don't think it is going to be a year of Favour for me.

Maybe you're right. I don't have a clue or any idea on many other things that is within my proximity. Or maybe I just like being totally oblivious to things and am rather comfortable being in denial about many things. I like taking things one step at a time. So don't rush me. Damn it, I feel like I am living in a lie. Who's the liar? Yours truly, myself.

If there is a degree in Playing Pretend, I'll ace it. I believe in Karma, what goes around comes around. Haven't you heard, payback is a bitch? Deal with yours, I am dealing with mine.

Goodnight people.

"she's sweet and innocent and you like it, i am the opposite, what are you doing with me?"

One Way Traffic.

And so, would you rather carry on being happy not knowing the one you love the most is gone OR would you rather know the truth and be there as they lay him or her to the ground?

I am curious.

Daddy taught me to compare "the amount you want him in your life" and "the amout he wants you in his life". It has to balance. But that's not always the case. Where are all the fairness in these shindigs?

Often times, I tend to dwell in thoughts as though I am about to kick the bucket soon. People always say, 'live like we're dying la' or 'live each day like it's your last' and what not. But really, I think that's utter nonsense because if I am to live by that theory, I'll be in hell by the time I died.

So, what will you be doing if it was really your last day on earth?

As for me, I don't think I will do anything much about it. Honest.

Stop pretending like you know how I feel. Thanks.

So what happened? What always happens, LIFE.

Just as fragile as a rose

"the truth hurts, but the lies are worse"

Did You Forget.

on my way to the land of uncivilization at the moment.

considering the jam is terrible and my dad is using the laptop while he is driving,

i might take forever to reach or wont't even reach at all -.-

i'm stuck in between my brothers. very uncomfortable. bleh.

but there's a laptop here, so I shall make full use of it.

and thank god for my BerryB :)

attempted to see the lover earlier.

but looks like it wasn't meant to be and god wanted the absence to make our hearts fonder, right.

i'll miss you.

X.

Happy Early V Day people <3

p/s: thank you for the flowers, wherever you are.

"since i'm not your everything, how about i be nothing at all to you?"

Was It Worth It?

Look what came knocking on my door to suprise me?

Meet my BerryB :)

I am not tech-savvy, at all. Lets hope I will make an effort to take care of it and learn how to use it. It caught me off guard. Mmm, thanks V :)

Btw, for the lover, I am willing to give up the YellowMan. Just for you. You made me cheat. Haha.

"what goes around comes around, damn"

Look What You've Done.

Flowers would be nice :D

Orange Daisies <3

Red Roses <3

White Lilies <3.

Purple Tulips <3.

Yellow Dahlias <3.

Often times, I feel that my preference and liking towards a type of flower varies according to the different people who gets it for me. These are my favourite types of flowers.

What about you? :)

I know flowers die and what not. It is a waste of money to many people. It puts a smile on my face, all the time. I am a flower kinda girl. So if it makes me happy, it is worth the money. I don't expect to receive them everyday. But every once in awhile, that feeling is pretty great (: especially when it catches you off guard.

All time favourite, Cala Lilies, pretty ain't it?

Just the thought of simplicity in life. Smiles.

X.

"one night yeah one more time, thank for the memories"

Say A Little Prayer For You.

hi world,

i am sitting for my e-business paper in an hour.

period cramp is being a bitch.

what a timing, joy.

i have half my mind to not sit for the paper.

bitch, you're killing me.

god.damn.it.

i mean, help me Jesus.

:)

*edited*

Paper's over. Don't Ask.

Phone died on me.
I can't call the lover.
FML.

"why you had to go and make things so complicated?"

I Miss My Bangs!

i believe in plain, old, happily ever after.

but my love story doesn't have an ending yet.

i am willing to wait.

:)

On a random note, I am amused at how I can laugh to myself in the room. Oh, Daph has herself on MSN, she added herself -.- talk about being weird, LOL. That's why we are friends and we PM chat :D

Romeo save me, I am ready.

"maybe we should take it slow"

You Oughta Know.

just because i feel it coming a mile away and it smells like heartache

if it's over, let it go and come tomorrow, it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday

laugh it off and let it go and when you wake up, it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday

haven't you heard that i'm gonna be okay?

i know human makes the same mistakes all the time. i keep making mine, repetitively.

it'd help if you tell the truth.

in the midst of insanity. emotions all wrecked up. i need to focus. i pray for your grace to be upon me as i attempt to study. amen. 

x.

"i want you to miss me more than you should"

Remember My Name, Fame.

DAY THREE

As i mentioned in the last post, we had to get up at 2.30 am just so we can leave our villa before 4 am. You see, all I really wanted from this whole trip was to swim with the dolphins and without fail, I kept on bugging J & V about it and got them excited about it too, yay. The inconvenient part of it was that to meet those pretty dolphins, we have to take a drive up to North Bali, Lovina which takes 2 hours, so yeah.

Be prepared for a long post with pictures!

While waiting for V to get ready.

Didn't snap any pictures during the drive there because V was sleeping, J was accompanying the driver and I was trying so hard not to puke.. the roads up to North Bali is terrible. We were all 3 freezing btw.

When we arrived :) Trust me I was so excited till my nausea went away. Okay, this morning trip was very important because we were going out faraway from the shore to see the dolphins swimming and jumping and what not! Like right next to your boat kind okay. Cool I know.

Yours truly had to walk on this muddy thingy to get to the boat -.- both boys had terrible sunburn on their back, so piggyback ride for me, boo.

The boat. Quite funky ba. The space is just enough for our asses to fit in it. The dolphins usually will be next to the blue leg part of the boat. That's the proximity.

Our another boat dude. Can't remember his name. Haha. I only remembered him always yelling '"There! There!" (means there! the dolphins) Then I'll turn back and him and look and then realised that I missed the dolphins -.- 

I was so happy that I managed to catch the sunrise as well. Really, it was beautiful. And hot.

Ikan lumba-lumba hunting!

Damn hot wei. Our prince V was too caught up with his sunburn pain and was cursing the heat and didn't really join our hunt for the dolphins until I forced him to, LOL he caught his first glimpse of the pretty dolphins swimming in one gang!

The rest of our competitors. Damn stupid, I think they scared the dolphins away, Ish.

We were rather unlucky that morning because the dolphins was quite a distant from us so we couldn't take proper pictures of the dolphins in the sea. But the excitement we had was priceless because nothing beats witnessing in on your own. What a wonderful experience.

I took videos though of the dolphins jumping and all. But at the moment, I don't know how to upload it yet, haha. Help anyone? I WILL AND SHALL upload it soon. I want you all to see it!

This was on our way back to the shore. See the white towel behind my head, that's V, trying to protect himself from the sun -.-

The water was so clear and blue so we decided to wet each other by dipping our legs in the sea.

Look how clear the water is! This pic is from where I was sitting okay without zooming in or anything. So nice right. We were considering to snorkle here but another important thing awaits me! Hehe.

So we were just amazed with the ocean view and then suddenly John notices something.

J: Ey! Look look! got blue starfish le!!!

D & V: Where where??!!

J: There *points* so nice hor!

V: Yeah, I wonder can touch or not...

D: *turns to boat dude* Boleh sentuh ar?

Boat dude: Boleh! *dives right in, quite deep*

J & V & D: 0_0 wth!

And.... TADA!

So sweet of him to get it for us!

He passed me one and found another one and gave me. Boat dude: Ambillah, bawah balik ke hotel! LOL. John was in shock and said cannot, he pity the starfish so I had to throw it back in :(

We then had breakfast at the island and then J remembered what I wanted to do, swim with dolphins! So he told the driver and Putu made rseservations for me. I was so thrilled until I kept on rushing the boys, LETS GO LETS GO! FASTER LA!

I could only smile like a child then :)

Watching the dolphin show. Btw, interesting fact, I didn't know dolphins can apparently heal autistic kids. We saw parents bringing their kids there for private session of healing.  The two dolphins above is Kuncil and err.. can't remember, Haha.

They are so human until I was actually taken aback. Their eyes when they look at you makes me wonder, mmm. At one point J was talking to Kuncil and telling Kuncil about his problems. Then Kuncil just swam towards J and stared and listen to J! Serious.

People, Meet John the Dolphin! Haha. You should see J's face when he found out the name. Haha.

I was the one that was so excited to go swim first but then I kinda just pushed V to go first. Haha!

My turn! I was a lil nervous but what the heck right.

Be gentle John, gentle! :)

John is a very horny dolphin. I swear. I was aware that they were kids and parents standing around me, but I can't help but to shout "shit! shit! it's poking me." "ah! it's fingering me on my a-hole".

John is such a strong dolphin. I barely had to swim. He was pushing me around. TURNING me around.

Such a playful dolphin. He was still trying to poke me till now okay. Very frisky. At one point, suddenly J & V just went Eewww! I found out later on it was because they saw John's dick -.- and then I realised John has been trying to use his dick to err yeah... play with me.

I personally think John likes to play with me girls alot!

We each got to swim 2 rounds with John. I was definitely more brave the second round and was ready to go all in to play with John. Here I go! wee.

They are damn smooth, jealous.

We were told to float so that John will do stunts over you. V was lucky because John just kept on jumping over his body and all John wanted to do with me was to poke me!

I believe at this shot, he was trying to poke my anal hole. V swore that he won't come and save me if I created a scene there so I had to maintain my composure.

Before V's 2nd round, the instructor allowed both of us to swim with John together for a bit. Fun Fun Fun!

You're not allowed to touch the dolphin's head or body or hug them because it's like a threatening sign to them but we were allowed to touch their err... flaps? Haha.

But then right, John really liked me. The whole time he was playing with me in the pool, the instructor kept on asking me to touch him because John is allowing me to :D

So obviously I took advantage la! Haha. I managed to shake his err.. flap/hand? rub his body, head and all.

My 50USD was definitely very worth it! People say it's a once in a lifetime must do kinda thing. Nonsense, I will do it again and again!

I miss swimming with John already! :(

The next place Putu took us to was the GitGit waterfall, if you all know me well, I love waterfalls.

My boys and I :)

See, the waterfall! Damn strong the current and it is considered not that strong already for the locals.

Just so you know, the weather in North Bali, is cooler than Genting. So can you imagine how cold I was standing near the waterfall and the wind was blowing like mad?

I was like some hero charging to the waterfall wanting to dip myself BUT when I felt the water, I froze, literally =.=

The boys being their macho self decided to heal their sunburn back with the cooling water. Haha, they smiling here only, actual fact, they were freezing!

I went in halfway because it was too cold for me at least one of us had to take pictures right? ;)

We were starving once we were done with waterfall. Our driver recommended this buffet place.

Pacung.

Not bad right the place. Food also nice.

But nothing beats the scenery here. We ate right next to hills and all that. The cooling weather made it even better.

Satisfied!

Next we stopped by this lake which has temples on it and I love taking pictures here. Pretty Pretty Pretty!

Those 2 temples behind me are basically on the lake. You must sit on the boat to get there.

I like this blue flower.

Rawr!

I wanted to roll around the grass but had too many people!

Twas it was a great day!

Since we were out since 3 plus am, we went back to our villa after that. Was exhausted. Played poker then we all knocked out from 5pm -9pm. Haha.

During this poker session, it was so much of fun because we acted like fools just cause we were too high on being tired.

We walked out to the Seminyak streets for dinner. Quite scary because got fierce street dogs that won't leave you alone even if you left them alone.

Ended up in Rumours, great food, I really enjoyed it.

It's the company that matters most =)

V requested that we took a cab back because we didn't want to encounter those dogs again. Haha.

Fooled around in the villa and fell asleep without knowing. Cannot make it.

DAY FOUR

Goodye Bali, We will be back, definitely!

"and the forest will give us the answers"