That Lie You are Living, How's it Going?

i admit. i do feel the ache. when i saw all those pictures.
maybe because it was something we both intended to do, together. for a really long time. but, whatevvs.
at least on my side, you're not replaced.
bestfriends forever, apparently.
you have no idea how it feels.

"so entertained right now..."

Sallow.

day and night,
i am always tired.

but at night,
i stay up just late enough,
until i am exhausted enough,
until i can fall into my bed,
and into immediate slumber.

because i can't stand to lie in the bed,
in the dark room alone with my thoughts,
for so many hours.

"you can't have a rainbow without a little rain"

Beautiful Disaster.

One day, you're going to want that specific girl. The one that wasn't perfect, but tried to be, for you. The girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and love you the only way she knew she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. The girl who can't bring herself to hate you even though you probably deserve it. The girl who saw past you pretty face and treasured parts of you that no one appreciated. That girl who realized that she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. And by the time you realize that's the girl you are looking for, she's gone.

x.

"when you dream with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part"

When The Stars Go Blue.

cause this pain i feel, it won't go away...

Restart Button.

happy birthday to someone dear.

i hope you enjoyed your day.

you sure as hell deserve it.

:)

xx.

祝我生日快乐.

i remember telling Shaun something earlier this year.

maybe i really did jynx-ed myself.

:(

honestly, who would have thought?

then again, one can only try that hard or that much.

and so i keep telling myself it's okay.

and oh, Happy happy birthday to Me!

"i know being sad can't change anything...'

算了吧.

i think it's okay to wallow in sadness every now and then, not too often though.

i tried doing what i thought i could do best, pretend to be okay.

maybe if i pretend long enough, i will somehow be convinced i'm okay.

just when you think you ran out of tears, you stand corrected.

i am frustrated.

bye.

"apologies are suppose to mean something"